I am (want to be) your true friend

"People claim that we live in a world of irreconcilable differences, that lasting peace can not be achieved because there is no way to change the human heart." - Steve Saint

Recognition - How can we find true friendship in this often false and temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another person's personality. Friends generally share likes and dislikes, interests, activities and passion.

How can we recognize a potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for fellowship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. In addition, genuine friendship involves a common sense of caring and concern, a desire and hope to see each other grow, develop, and succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for another person without expecting anything in return; share thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

The story of the pilot in the jungle was retold in the End of the Spear, a film that begins with an intimate and guttural narration about an idyllic aerial scene of an Amazon rainforest. "People claim that we live in a world of irreconcilable differences, that lasting peace can not be achieved because there is no way to change the human heart." But the story of this movie, a trip down a remote river, "Challenges what many people they say. "This introduces Steve Saint, our guide, through the surreal and sincere world of missionary imagination. We traveled with Steve to the Ecuadorian rainforest of 1943.

A hollow "Waodani" hut is attacked and its villagers murdered by ruthless enemy warriors at night. One of which kills a baby. We followed two child protagonists, a boy named Mincayani and a little girl, Dayumae, as they fled.

The next narrator, Steve Saint, takes us back to his own childhood in 1956, strangely staged to resemble the overly quiet domestic images of a 1950s sitcom full of Roy Rogers cowboy hats, airplane models, a mother wearing an apron and a Lassie as a dog. We met his enthusiastic and bright-eyed father, Nate Saint (Chad Allen) and four American companions (the bizarre energy of his unimaginative portraits was one of the few things that seemed true in this missionary coherent missionary). It is twenty minutes before they tell us that they are missionaries, "closer than the family of blood," and who plan to contact the Waodani for vague and partially articulated reasons (are they hoping to save them from intertribal extinction?) "They are concerned about the government troops, or with their own violent nature? Or are they trying to free them from a Satanic "prison"?)

The score, ranging from drum beats and "tribal" chants, where the Waodani seem like angelic choral arrangements and pastoral chord progressions to the missionaries, leave no doubt as to when we should feel when and what. At first, the blatant emotion of music is appreciated as a much-needed aid to follow the inflexibly dramatic mechanical script that assumes its power. It's a friendship story. When Nate Saint says, "Son, the Waodani are not ready for heaven. We are, "we know we should simply believe. That's when the brilliant idea of an effect phrase enters the boy's mind. He then seeks his aunt's help and translates into Wao, the best catch phrase  in the world: "I am your true friend."

True Friendship - Relationship, Trust, Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. These mutual attributes that we have mentioned above become the basis on which recognition appears in the relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," but they never spend time with this "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, to build shared memories, to invest in each other's growth.

A friend of mine, half Barnabas and half Timothy, came to seek his own interests and broke the bonds that seemed to bind us together. After some time another very dear and dear friend did the same. This has happened again and again; time after time, during my entire lifetime. What's wrong? As I look into the recent and distant past as well, I have become attached to the hard tears that roll because of the friends that come and go. Do I value my friends more than the Lord of friends?

One of these days I received a "friend request" through a social network. I confirmed the request and noticed the following message that said: "You are friends now". This caught my attention and intrigued me, wondering if friendship would be something so quick and immediately ready to be achieved. After all, I have learned that a friend is a treasure (Ecclesiastes 6.14) and that precisely because it is so, it is a rare thing, which takes time to know and to conquer.

This idea that friendship takes time to be born already appears among the ancient philosophers, both the Greeks and the Romans. For example, Aristotle states in his Nicomachean Ethics that "we can not know the people until they have 'consumed the proverbial salt.'" This same principle is also present in the work of Friendship, by the Roman philosopher and philosopher Marco Túlio Cicero: "It is necessary to eat much salt manners with someone so that the friendship is fully consolidated."

"Captain" Virgulino Ferreira da Silva, better known as Lampião (more archaic spelling 'Lampeão'), was the most famous bandit leader of the Cangaço. The Cangaço was a form of banditry endemic to the Brazilian Northeast. was particularly prevalent in the 1920s and 1930s). Lampião led a group of up to 100 cangaçeiros, who occasionally took small towns and waged a series of successful actions against the paramilitary police, when at a great disadvantage.

Lampião's exploits and reputation made him a 'popular hero'. Then the story goes that once when Captain Lampião met a so called Colonel (farm owners/homesteaders) with the intention of invading his farm, the farmer said, scared of the cangaceiros and without realizing that he was speaking with the captain himself, he said that he was a friend of the king of cangaço.

Virgulino Ferreira was influenced by the honor he brought to be known as someone's friend and yet he was annoyed by the fibbing of the colonel. Then he made the following judgment and uttered the sentence: "O xente (hick expression typical of the Northeast of Brazil), I am flattered with so much friendship with you, though I have never seen it. And to be friends with someone, it is said that it is necessary to eat a pot of salt with your friend. And since I've just met you, my sentence will be that you eat your half of the salt right now. "To make the short tale even shorter, he forced the man to eat the entire pot of salt until he passed away, tragically leaving quite pleasant the narrative of a short story with its strange moral applications to be told for many decades to come.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failure to be trusted with these intimate secrets can destroy a friendship. Faithfulness and loyalty are fundamental to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship there is no slander, no negative thoughts, no withdrawal.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. True friends encourage and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports in times of struggle. Friends are trustworthy. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and always want the best for them.

True friendship - examples of real friendship - true stories of friendship are found throughout the Bible. In Genesis 18. 17-33, we read about God sharing his intentions with Abraham. Abraham responds by telling God his thoughts and feelings about the situation. God and Abraham are able to do this because they trust and respect each other.

First Samuel 20 focuses on the friendship of David and Jonathan. These two men really cared for each other and had great confidence in each other. David was running after Jonathan's father, Saul, who pursued him. Jonathan recognized that David was innocent. Because of the true friendship they shared, David survived Saul's assassination attempts and became one of Israel's greatest kings.

True and Biblical friendship involves freedom of choice, responsibility, truth, and forgiveness. Peter and Jesus give us this example: Peter, fearful of his life after Jesus is taken away from the Garden of Gethsemane, denies knowing him (John 18). When taken by his accusers, Jesus takes a look at Peter who says, "I knew that you would deny me, and I forgive you" (John 21).

True friendship looks to the heart of the Lord, not just to the "packing of the friend." Genuine friendship loves for love, not just for what it can receive in return. True friendship is challenging and exciting. He risks, ignores failures and loves unconditionally, but it also involves being sincere, even if it hurts. Genuine friendship, also called "agape" love, comes from the Lord. The Lord Jesus calls us to his friends and gave his life for us (John 15).

Real-life relationships involve different levels of friendship and that's fine. But humans are designed by God for enduring relationships. Often our isolationist society offers only vague and empty relationships. God wants us to have friends here on earth. Above all, he wants us to be his friends!

The Word of God tells us that a friend is closer than a brother and that to be a friend, one should befriend (Proverbs 18.24). The question is, what kind of friend do you want to be?

Proverbs 18.19 says, "It is more difficult to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a locked gate with iron bars." When we offend a true friend - be it by breaking a trust or speaking the truth with love - we risk losing that friendship. We must be careful not to break trust. But when we do not speak the truth will do more harm in the lives of our friends, we must be willing to sacrifice our needs for those of our friend. This is true friendship.

If we sometimes offend a friend unintentionally, the Word of God offers a solution. This is called forgiveness. There is no greater example than God's love for us. He is so great that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, that our friendship with God might be restored. He did this despite the fact that he had been deeply offended, cosmically. We disobey his commandments, turn our backs to him, and go our own way. So the question remains: what kind of friend do you want to be? True Christian friendship forgives.

In The End of the Spear, friendship was found in forgiveness, but before that, friendship was found by those who gave their lives so the other could live. In the statement "they are not ready for heaven" Nate Saint drew the line we must follow to be a true friend, in whatever language one can speak. A sad news for me is to realize that, like the Colonel in the salt-pot tale, I can sometimes seem more like a friend than I was.

You see, in my reverse state of mind, without Jesus and against God, I could only claim to be a good friend of the King of Kings. However, in redemption, when my friendship is neither based nor valued in me or in my feelings or in my heart that is very misleading but has its own weight in Jesus, I will look even for those who can try me kill or harm me in any way, and only see the image of Jesus who died for them. So I will not use weapons against those who are not ready to experience the joy that is yet to come.

Do you need a friend? God wants to be your true friend. Are you yearning for company? God is always with you (Hebrews 13. 5). Who do you know who needs a true friend today? God wants you to be friends with others. He calls us to be his hands and feet in a world hungry for true friendship.

Of Fibs and truths in friends and friendship

... For Demas, having loved the present world, forsook me and went to Thessalonica; Crescent went to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia - 2 Timothy 4.10

Years ago, Nenāo had just gotten married and came to visit. While we went out for to run some errands, as he was driving his little red Fiesta from the countryside to the city, he put on a song that really caught my attention. The blues in the form of a sacred advice, tells the listener to make a list of great friends. Who did you most see ten years ago? How many do you still see every day? How many could you still find? Make a list of the dreams you had: how many of them did you give up? How many friends have you vowed? How many have you managed to preserve? Where do you still recognize yourself: In the last photo or now in the mirror? Is it as you thought it would be today? How many friends did you throw away? How many mysteries were you looking into? How many could you understand? How many secrets have you kept: today they are silly, nobody wants to know. How many lies did you condemn? How many did you have to tell? How many defects healed over time: They were the best in you. How many songs did not you sing? Today you whistle to survive. How many people did you love? Now, they think they love you.

I felt it. What was my cousin trying to tell me? Almost 15 years later, when I hear the same old song, I feel regret for the people who came into my life and left me alone.

Today, leaving people is like a game where everyone participates to some extent. We do this constantly, even the most gentle among us - we leave people. We leave our partners. We leave the comrades inside out as we head to court with a mixture of guilt, shame, pride, trouble and expectation. We left our neighbors as we moved into another area, with weak promises to keep up. We lost our friends in late spring when we went on to other summers. We leave some companions, since we can not take any more and say goodbye to different friends, because you can not be attentive to everyone. People are leaving. They will leave us and expose us (even if only to ourselves). The promises of love and faithfulness will mean nothing; if we become so self-absolved and great that there is no room for the "other" in our life.

Too much "ego" will leave you alone. Leaving people behind because of your ego will kill your talent. Attacks on the ego are faced with defense mechanisms, often with anger. People react with anger, withdrawal, anxiety, sadness, etc. The wounds of the ego can lead to a loss of self-esteem. Someone will probably regret or strongly mourn the blow of the ego as it is painful. It's a strange disease. It makes everyone sick, except the person who has it.
It's not always about us. Sometimes it's about them when they leave, and what they need to get more out of life and more for their personal happiness and well-being. We are not the center of the universe for anyone's life, not even ours!

We all want different things in our lives, no matter how compatible we may be, or how well we give ourselves. When someone recognizes a strong need or desire that grows, or does not fade, and they feel they can not fulfill that passion or desire they have while they are with you, then they must finally leave or live resentful with you.

Is this what you really want for yourself or for them? Do you see now why you need to leave people who have chosen to leave your life?

Do not abandon your friend or friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; the neighbor is closest to a distant brother. Proverbs 27.10

We must maintain the bonds of friendship as dear and obligate, even beyond the generations. Friends should not be abandoned. A well-experienced and old friend is invaluable. We should never forget or neglect a person who has been your friend or family. Solomon exemplified his own domain by cultivating friendly ties with Hiram, the friend of his father (1 Kings 5.1-10). The contempt devoid of this rule cost the foolish son of Solomon his kingdom (1 Kings 12: 6-19). We should not assume that our brother by birth is the best to help on the day of calamity, especially if the brother is away. Better is a smaller feature that is close by than a better feature that is far away.

A friend had a quotation written on the wall of his room: "A stranger is just a friend you have not yet met." And I always loved that quote and my friend too, for writing that on his wall. You see, the problem is the basis of making a friend that leaves us confused. We mistakenly commit our friendship to what is good for us at the time. The problem is that sometimes strangers are the Boogey Man, the embodiment of evil, and they are, in fact, our enemies! And we try and try to make new friends. Sometimes it can be a new career, something in common with a person we know, a place they have always wanted to live, something they want to do, but to do it themselves and not have to commit to a period of time or be with a person. This really is about them and not about you; so let them go so they can fulfill their desire. Go find something that incites you and inspires you in the same way. Be a friend because God wants you to have fellowship with people.

Self-Obsession: These people take advantage of you and then leave you in the middle of nowhere. Self-obsessed people are very strange. They only think for themselves. They will do anything to defend their self-image. They are great liars. They fight with empathy and they do not care. They are not the most thoughtful people. When they're done with you, they'll leave you.

Some relationships are toxic. Can I put it more simply than that? It will be harmful to a person (you), even if you are prepared to stay there, continue to wait for things to change, or it will be harmful to the other person. They realize this and leave.

Or was their relationship harmful to both parties? Where any part of a relationship is toxic, it is not a good place for anyone. Being with a manipulative, controlling, jealous or abusive partner are examples of a toxic relationship. Do not wait for them to change and stop giving excuses. That does not change anything. Let them go.

On the other hand, if you have been accused of being the toxic component of your relationship, then let them go and use that time wisely to reflect on why you may need help solving any problem you are experiencing.

The problem of society: People leave others because they do not find the other person attractive. Nowadays people want to be with those who are popular. What others will think about is the root cause. Leaving people because what others will think will or will not have a good impact on your life shows how selfish the other person is. But nowadays people do not really care about the feelings of others.

Some people will do whatever they want whenever they want. They will not give you a second thought. Call them whatever name you want, but I doubt they matter. Yes, some people will never change. They may have promised to change or may have no interest in changing. After all, they think they are perfect, so why suffer from someone who will never see you as someone of any significance?

Their ego and degree of self-importance blinded them to their pain and suffering. Did you ever expect them to come home, they ignored or despised you, forgot your birthday, to get you out of there? Your relationship was very one-sided and all about them and they decided to leave you to someone else without thinking a little of your way? If so, let go, breathe a sigh of relief, you've had a breakout of luck. Count your blessings. Not a loss!

Lack of Sense: Open-minded people always believe that there are multiple perspectives in any situation. That said, there is a recurring scenario where common sense is lacking and needs to be addressed. These people do not use their sense and hurt the feelings of other people without any cause.

They are totally insane. Maybe you sent them away. You changed? Did something happen? Have you missed the signs or alarms? Were they trying to tell you something? Did they act differently? Only you can respond to this, or if you find it very difficult, trust someone whose opinion you respect, but you may not always like it! You deserve an honest answer before you can make amends and get some closure.

Lack of Education: Education is a dynamic process involving individuals, groups and the society in which they live. It is a process that is shaped by the past and at the same time must be continually refined to face challenges that can not be avoided in the future. But people who have no education are not well civilized. There is a misunderstanding and they leave people forever.

Sometimes you just have to admit it was just you trying to make things work. Maybe they found what they were looking for somewhere else and you no longer met their expectations. You were over your requirements; they lost interest. I know this can be devastating and difficult to face, but is it possible that this has happened? Sometimes we strive so hard to meet everyone's expectations, but it is unsustainable and exhausting.

You tried to look perfect, smart, cool, try to fit into the lives, interests and hobbies of other people, but there is no guarantee that they would stay. Perhaps they are so fickle that they continue to float among people, not sure what they really need or what they are looking for. Do you really want to be with someone like that?

Jealousy: Jealousy itself is a killer. People may have different reasons in different cultures for being jealous. Jealousy is a universal emotion. It damages the mind of yours or another. It is one of those demons that seem to take everything when it is felt and yet we leave others behind. Instead of getting jealous, you should focus first on yourself.

Sometimes giving up someone is kinder than holding them down. Yes, sometimes letting someone else go is the nicest thing to do. You are now free to do the things you always wanted to do. Are you no longer prevented from doing something you are putting off or feeling unable to do before that?

Alternatively, maybe that's why someone left. Because he felt trapped and stagnant in one aspect of his life, that made them very unhappy, so unhappy that they had to do something. That something was coming out of you, no matter how difficult it was for one or both.

Tired and Exhausted: People really do not understand the impact they leave on the lives of others. People get frustrated and leave others in the middle of nowhere. Other people think all their lives and what they have done wrong. They continue to mourn all their lives. It becomes frustrating and people feel guilty.

You have become very dependent. You got lost along the way and became very dependent and longed to be with them and have them around you and they recognized it and felt trapped, suffocated and desired! If you were less independent since you were together, did you have higher expectations of the other person? Did they see you as needy, sticky, vulnerable and maybe a little picky?

Not Finding More Interest: Sometimes people get tired of each other. They become depressed and therefore insult others. They lack confidence and self-acceptance. Instead of feeling bad about yourself, asking yourself what you can do to get things right and start acting accordingly, people misbehave and abandon you.

Together you no longer work. You constantly argued and built resentment and hostility built. You did not want to acknowledge this or continue to think it would look better, but the other person decided to leave first, but it's still hard to let go.

Trust simply disappeared. It is very difficult to go back in time and if a significant trust has been broken by either party. Being in a relationship will become unsustainable when a person has had enough and will no longer work in the relationship. Where someone chooses to leave your life, let it go, learn and rebuild. Take what's best in the relationship so you do not become cynical, but also learn from what went wrong.

Self-centered: Leaving people behind is the most frequent street in life. Sometimes we leave people because of our ego. We floated away from them, not calling. This luck erases our guilt and makes us look kind. From time to time there is a conscious choice to take someone out of our lives.

Why is it so much easier to leave the people we choose to leave, but we find it much harder to leave the people who chose to leave our lives? It could be something to do with the fact that when we make that decision, we are in control, but that control is taken from us by another when they go, and there is little we can do about it?

Let's split things up a bit and look at the reasons why we need to leave people, and secondly, why people chose to leave our lives in the first place.

Their relationship meant control. Let's face it; this was not a healthy relationship to be in. Looking back, is it possible that the other person was controlling you or you were trying to control them? Either way, there are no real winners and regardless of whom left, it was not a recipe for success. Going forward, none of the people would be happy.


All of the factors mentioned above can be like spokes of a wheel. Part of a relationship mechanism that exists can be effectively harmful or not. They are just there. In a relationship without Christ as the axis, these spokes become axis and make the SNAFU’ s of each and every relationship. (SITUATION NORMAL, ALL FOWLED UP)

However, for the mind of Christ to work in us and to be able to change all situations, we have to understand the reality, and the events and people who traveled through our door (HELLO THERE Willie Nelson) as if they were part of God's plan for make us look to God as our only true friend. And he has promised us by his name, by his person and by his spirit that he will never leave us, he will never abandon any of his children, even when it seems that each one left you.

To break away from this mechanism of making friends, I unexpectedly discovered these lonely years, a thank you for the lonely road I was given to travel. For with this came a greater understanding of what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ and to know him not only as my Savior but my comfort, sustenance, hope and strength. I believe that until our worldly comforts are divested, we can begin to experience the true depth, duration, and height of their love for us.

Although I am grateful for what God is doing to me through trial, the enemy has worked hard to take advantage of my solitude whenever he can. However, despite his attacks and lies, Christ has used what the enemy intends to do harm and is showing me how this path of solitude is not out of his perfect will and plan for me.

Let's take some of the lies we are tempted to believe in times of loneliness.

I'm alone…
The lie: "Loneliness means that I am alone."

The truth: "Solitude draws the external comfort from those around me, leading me to find solace in Christ alone."


Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all consolation, who comforts us in our affliction ... (2Corinthians 1: 3)

Yes, there are times when God allows us to feel alone in terms of the world around us. However, despite our extreme aversion to loneliness, God's grace allows us, for a period, to take us deeper into his Word and prayer, in search of a full and hopeful and living unity with him. Christ knows that we can not find true and lasting consolation in anyone but himself, since he is the only one who is the God of all comfort.

Removing the earthly comfort of those around us, the Lord moves us in one of two directions: toward a deeper intimacy with our Savior, or towards the unveiling of an unrepentant heart, which ultimately desires more comfort than Christ.

Brother or sister in Christ, if you feel alone in your suffering, thank God for loving him enough to allow that time in your life to bring him closer to him. He does not do this out of harshness, but out of a desire to increase his faith and provide for you that which only he can give. The secret is: look at the cross and now look around. You will see that when he was alone, Jesus made those around him his companions, because he was focused on true friendships. Look at your wife, your church, your children. They are there because of a covenant based on fellowship with the Cross.

Nobody understands…
The lie: "I am the only one who suffered thus, and no one will ever be able to understand my pain."

The truth: "Christ will not ask me to suffer anything that he himself has not yet suffered, and many who were before me endured similar or more difficult ways than I to bring me the comfort they received in Christ."

One of the reasons why the temptation arises is because we often do not know much about people or people, if there are, in our immediate circle of friends, relatives or even acquaintances who have been called upon to bear the specific burden that has been ours given load.

Even if we do indeed know someone else who can relate to our pain, different temperaments and levels of maturity in our faith provide unique experiences and responses within the same general judgment. So, although the reality is that others may have experienced a similar form of suffering, in our eyes, no one can fully understand our pain.

If the enemy can make us believe that there really is no one who can understand, it will tempt us to exclude others, even those whom God has provided for us as support and encouragement. The danger of this isolation is that it will drive us away from the people around us with the truth when we need it most, sending us to bitterness, depression, harshness, repentance and, ultimately, uselessness in the kingdom of God.

Therefore, we must remember this truth:

As we abundantly share in the sufferings of Christ, we also share abundantly in comfort through Christ. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort that you experience when you endure patiently the same sufferings that we suffer. (2 Corinthians 1: 5-6)

Jesus Christ is the only one who can enter into our pain completely and completely. Only he knows our hearts, temperaments, insecurities, fears, emotions and desires, and even more: our sins.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and there is no truth in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we do not sin, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. 1 John 1: 8-10

Therefore, we struggle against the temptation to withdraw, first realizing that only Christ can fill the deep holes left by the regrets of life. When we realize that only Christ can bring us true and eternal comfort, we free people from having to meet our expectations. And when we free people to meet our expectations, our eyes open to the gift of the body of Christ and their provision of comfort given through their people.

Our Savior does not comfort us by clapping at a distance. Instead, it comforts us with the assurance of our salvation, the power of the Holy Spirit and the body of Christ, giving us strength, courage and daring.

God must not be loving...
The Lie: "A loving God would not make me take such a painful path. If you really love me, it will always provide support, encouragement, and understanding to those around me. "

The truth: "A loving God sent his own Son on the loneliest road that man knew, so that I would never have to go any way alone."

Consider him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners so that you would not tire or despair. (Hebrews 12: 3)

Besides the grace of Jesus Christ, none of our sufferings in this life would have any purpose, value or hope. But because of the gospel, yes! So, instead of seeing these seasons of loneliness as our enemy and something to be avoided at all costs, we can see it as a privilege and a call to walk the lonely road of Calvary with our Savior. It allows us to experience glimpses of the path he has traveled so that we may also experience the great comfort and reward that will be ours for eternity in him.

I do not have enough faith...
The lie: "If I feel alone, I must not have enough faith."

The truth: "Holding firm to Jesus, despite his solitude, proclaim to those around me that it is worth the lonely road I run. It is a beautiful and glorifying image of faith in Christ in my Savior, who traveled the lonely and painful path to Calvary for my salvation, hope and comfort. It is an honor and a privilege to be called to walk in his footsteps because he assures me that I am a child of God. "


Behold, the hour cometh, and cometh near, wherein ye shall be scattered every one to his part, and leave me alone; but I am not alone, because the Father is with me. I have told you this, that in me ye may have peace; in the world ye shall have afflictions, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16.32,33

The loving hand of God orders even the loneliness we experience in these painful ways. Although we feel alone, we are never truly abandoned. He allows these stations to produce in their children endurance, strength, unwavering faith, and uniqueness to the gospel. Solitude reminds us that this world is not our home, that we have been commissioned to spread the gospel in the place and time set for us.

Loneliness is not hopelessness and does not defeat us, but it enables us to know more of Christ and make him known to those around us.

My suggestion, my answer to the challenge of making a list of all my friends and all my thoughts, is to make a list of all the people God put into your life, and how and why, in reality, you can actually say why they are apparently gone. Sing on your list, in the hopes of Zion and the New Jerusalem, when we will meet with all our friends in Jesus, those who have offended us, and those we offend. Make a list of the truths you have forgotten, and the lies you have begun to believe and disclose. Seek shelter and fellowship with those around you. Find company in the now, find joy in hope brought by the future.

Believer, I am well aware that there are some extremely painful roads. I have recently felt the absence and the distance of many who have been part of my journey. I keep remembering when on the road next to Nenão, and in the list that I do today, he is far away, is closer today because we have the centrality of Jesus as the axis of our relationship. And so with many others! Yesterday, a friend of more than 30 years without seeing, called me, and I thanked God for it! I want to cultivate this axis. and thus, any adverse situations in the friendships, may be trusted in the power of the knowledge of God.

FARMVILLE PASTORING

I've never liked video games so much. When I was little I had a videogame of ten sets of stick and square figures on the TV set. It was a beep beep,  and soon it became uninteresting. Or was I too small to like it? Oh how many mornings I preferred the company of Lewis' Edward, Lucy Susan and Edmund. I lived their adventures many times. I also enjoyed learning about strong character traits in Di Amici's while reading Heart - A student diary. Later, A wrinkle in time by Madeleine L'Engle made me laugh, while Harper Lee made me cry in To kill a mockingbird. I enjoyed reading about character. I enjoyed grooming and watching my own character traits being shaped. Growing barefoot on the grass, I spent my time learning from books, keeping pets, drawing, doing my chores, and actually being blessed to learn from the company of my family. The weather in Jaú, where the earth is purple, or in the farm in Bocaina, where the people talk funny, or even in the young Brasilia, which has the widest skyline in the world, and widened my horizon as I grew from small to a less small. So, the adolescence in the States - ah, how I loved the Bend Terrace, at 301 Bent Road, often called the Greenwood Estate. Always playing, always happy. Always accompanied by animals and pets.

As a pastor, many years later, fully grown, and yet not fully mature, I learned to play a social media game - which had a version of me living on a fictional farm. He had to click on the screen to plant seeds, harvest the crops and build houses and sheds. Ah! I had gifts to send to friends. And cows to milk, and goats to brush, and pigs to look for truffles ... And I had so many friends in that vile farm ... I can even bet there's someone reading this article that was my farm friend ... It was fun, but it took a lot of time. I already lived in the Refúgio, which is rural property and at that time I even began to neglect my work on the farm.

One morning, on the real farm, Marcia woke me with terrible news that in the night our dogs attacked the sheep, wounded a few, and killed the most. What happened was that our neighbor's dog (the children called him Crú- Portuguese for RAW) broke free and chased our sheep and taught our German shepherds to "hunt and mutilate the flock." Some of the wounded sheep were so torn that they did not survive all day. The few who remained unharmed were so frightened that they could not even stay close to our place. So what do video games, books, and pets have in common? They are all great activities that can take our time and even teach a little wisdom. Go there...

In the last years of my ministry, being sent to the mission field in Japan, I have learned some very real lessons.  How to care for my flock and to prepare their hearts, there are two verses that are central to the shepherd's heart in order to relieve the pain inflicted on all of us by the neighbor's dog as he breaks our fences and even teaches our own shepherds to hurt the sheep.

These verses are from Jesus, and from the great and first shepherd, Peter. Every shepherd carries these words in his heart.

I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. But the mercenary, and that which is not a shepherd, of whom the sheep are not, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep, and flees; and the wolf snatches them and scatters the sheep. Now the mercenary fleeth, because he is a hireling, and careth not for the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and I know my sheep, and of them I am known. "John 10: 11-14

Feed the flock of God, which is among you, taking care of him, not by force, but willingly; nor out of greedy greed, but out of spirit; Not as having dominion over the inheritance of God, but as an example to the flock. And when the High Shepherd appears, you will attain to the incorruptible crown of glory. 1 Peter 5.2-4.

SHEPHERDS HAVE
PASSION FOR THEIR FLOCK - "I am the good shepherd ..." Like the heroes in my books, who love what they do, being a shepherd means loving the sheep. The simple fact is: to serve faithfully and to love the church.

Pastors care about you! You are in your mind and in your heart day and night. A true shepherd understands what Paul said: "In addition to outward things, the care of all churches oppresses me every day." 2 Corinthians 11.28.

You are important not only because of what you do in ministry, but because of who you are. You value them because they see you through the eyes of Jesus. True shepherds are not the servants of whom Jesus spoke, "When he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and flees ... The man flees because he is an employee and does not care for the sheep." John 10: 12-13. They love it a lot to do this.

SHEPHERDS WANT SO
MUCH MORE FOR YOU - A pastor waits, prays and works because he believes he is the best for you. They get hurt when those they love make the wrong decisions and face the consequences that can accompany them for years. They hurt because many have an informational understanding, but not an understanding of the heart of the scriptures. People know the contents of the Bible, the stories and the main teachings, and they can quote the scriptures. But they are often like the priest and the Levite in the story of the good Samaritan. They were the most highly trained religious people in their day, but they left the man dead. They have lost the purpose of living.

A good shepherd wants you to experience a life transformation, not just to become religious. They yearn for the Word of God to transform their lives. They want Romans 12: 1-2 to become alive in you. They want that: "... present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your understanding, that you may prove what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God. "

SHEPHERDS LIKE
BEING THEMSELVES - A shepherd's life is almost like an aquarium. As the old song says, "We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl. Year after year. Running over the same old ground" Unfortunately, there are well-meaning people in the same aquarium who think they know what's best for them. They have an attitude that betrays the thought that it is a mission to break, mold or tame the spirit of shepherds. There were people in the churches where I pastored, claiming to have the ministry of breaking the pastor. To this day, it seems that some sheep think so.

Instead, give them the gift of freedom to be themselves, to talk in a funny way, to have a bald head or not, a big fat old belly or a ripped body, and whether he is tall or short, he is the shepherd whom God gave him. Each pastor has a unique personality and a set of talents. If it is biblical and God-fearing, it may be a little less like what you have in mind for a pastor.

Never forget that your pastor is not what you want him to be. He will never be the shepherd of the internet. He will not be the shepherd on the other side of the fence. He is the one that God created, and if you allow him, he will feed you, bring you water, protect you and take care of your wounds. This is a great gift that will bring great dividends. This is material from very productive ministries.

SHEPHERDS WANT
PROTECTION FOR THEMSELVES 
AND THEIR FAMILIES - Pastors may say that there is a huge difference between the feeling of the person firing the weapon and the one being shot. They can because most of them have already been shot. Imagine telling a person all that bad you see in her being while in front of his wife and children. Yes, until today this has been happening in several places. It happened to me last week. Be careful that you are not the critic on duty.

When I started my first chicken coop about twenty-five years ago, I learned a little about chickens. If one of them has a wound, the others will peck at the wound until the chicken turns to chick-a-fillet  (the expression of the field indicating the death of the chicken) and the chicken is ready for the pot. You could say that the one who killed her was the last to peck at the wound. The reality is that all who pecked had a share in their death. The sad fact is that pastors leave churches and ministries because they were pecked to death.

If you have problems with your pastor (and this can happen), go personally to him, with kindness, humility and love. Do not take your problems to others. I often hear pastors say, "I wish they would know that I am human. I get hurt, I get discouraged and I do not have all the answers. " Above all, give them the benefit of the doubt. 1 Timothy 5:19 says, "Do not accept an accusation against the priest, but with two or three witnesses." Be a shelter for them and your family. Do not give space to the enemy!

SHEPHERDS ARE IN NEED
OF ENCOURAGEMENT - At Refugio, every time my dogs bark, I go out to check what is happening. As my watchdogs rush back and forth to warn me of any disturbance, I always stroke their necks, as if to say, "Thank you, friend, your warning means the world to me," even if seemingly useless barking becomes a nuisance . I'd rather be bothered by my shepherds twenty times in a single night, than having the thief, the invader, or even the neighbor's dog doing what and whom I love.

Encouragement is one of the greatest gifts you can give a pastor. Prayer, encouragement, and acts of kindness mean more than you will ever know. When criticism comes, do not be quiet, but speak in the name of the pastor. Defend your pastor! High doses of encouragement counteract the incessant flight that comes to those who shepherd. Today, on my mission in Japan, I feel very encouraged when I receive this from several people. Our church's administrative board usually says to me, just as I tell my dogs, "Thank you, pastor" (I'm crying when I write, so I'm going to put a joke here) If they scratch my neck, I think I might as well wag a tail a little bit! (Oh Boy!)

Pastoral ministry is a complicated and difficult profession. Pastors are expected to be well-informed about scripture, leadership, conflict management, psychology and sociology, accounting, project design and construction, counseling, current events, history, politics, ethics and technology, medicine (seriously, people ask for medical advice); can be overwhelming. Your words of encouragement will help your pastor feel that you are making a difference to the kingdom.

There is no real way of describing the ministry. It is demanding. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Many try to rest on Monday, but they simply can not! It involves things that can't be shared. Most pastors will not go around and say what they all did this week because it seems so selfish.

Let me share what a friend in the ministry faced during a normal ministry week. He said, "I made a funeral for a man I did not know, but I herd his family. I preached on Sunday. That takes everything from me. I had several meetings (one was not well, so I was tense all day). When I got to the office on Tuesday, someone was waiting to talk to me. They told me everything that was wrong in the church. I felt drained. Later that day, I had a counseling session with a woman whose marriage is not going well. Wednesday I discovered that a church leader had a moral failure. It's my daughter's birthday and I have to find a way to file it. "

Then he went on to share how he loved his people. Do you think this pastor could use some encouragement? Make sure your pastor takes a vacation, has time to recharge and has learning opportunities. These things not only encourage, they also benefit you.

There is a Brazilian saying that motherhood is like dying in paradise. This is also true in the sacred ministry. Pastoral ministry is a kind of sweet agony. We love and hate sometimes. However, for those who are called, there is no escape. It's not a video game; it is not a favorite pastime of a child mind. What we pastors do in the ministry is the orientation to life and death. There are friends to share our spiritual gifts and they are not virtual avatars. They are people with bodies and hearts. 

They are sheep that suffer at the hands of the enemy. Sheep that in a single night are broken and murdered to the crooked and the right. They are the treasures to be sought in heaven, not in man made of cybernetic clouds. For there is where we have to keep our minds. We are obliged to follow the call of the Good Shepherd. We feel like Jeremiah 20: 9: "... but it was in my heart like a burning fire, shut up in my bones; and I am weary of suffering, and I can not do it. "And to those who are guided in the Word of God, this same Word says in Hebrews 13.7,17" Remember your shepherds who spoke to you the word of God, of which he imitates, looking at his way of life. Obey your shepherds, and submit yourselves to them; because they watch over your souls, as those who will give account of them; that they may do it with joy and not with grief, because it would not be helpful to you. "

THE SHEPHERD PLAYING
FARMVILLE - "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but, wishing to tickle their ears, they will accumulate teachers according to their own desires, and turn their ears from the truth, and they will turn aside to myths" (2 Timothy 4: 3-4).

Scratching the ear is very profitable and popular. If you doubt it, wait outside a typical church on a Sunday morning and listen. "I like the way he preaches." "He makes me feel good." "I do not like what I hear." "I'm not sure what it is about that preacher, but I do not like him." carapuça. "" I felt that was sent to me! "I like it, I do not like it, I feel it, I do not feel it.

What I want in a church. What we're looking for. Why do we think about leaving?

And so on, ad infinitum. People want what they want. And with the availability of churches of all stripes and colors - varieties of sizes, architecture, programs, music, preaching, doctrine - no one needs to stay where they are unhappy. So they keep moving. With enough time and practice, such as a computer click, we want to see our own CHURCHVILLE thrive by following our recipes, relating well to friends. While I did this, my real sheep suffered and were mutilated.

In a classroom, the children wrote an essay about summer vacation. Johnny was giving a dorn hard time to do well on it. The final essay came out like this: "Although my holidays were so much fun - on the beach, going to the movies, playing ball and spending time with my family and my cousins on the farm - I could not wait to go back to the learning rooms. I missed my amazing school, my wonderful books and my excellent teacher. I'm very happy to be back. "He handed it to her, then stood there while the teacher read. She says, "A-PLUS!" To which Johnny responds, "Thank you, ma'am." When he leaves the room, he turns to his little friend and says, "As the years come and go, we learn to do what he sells." (Oh Boy)

And so pastors continue to study "what people want in a church." And lay leadership continues to ask the congregation, "What do you want in a pastor?" Click here for a pastor more like that on the internet!

Many pastors have discovered what they sell and have decided to offer a constant menu to their congregations. This is driven by many things: personal ambition, job security, attracting crowds, increasing budget, being noticed and admired.

The flesh longs for what it wants. The Gospel of Scratching Ears says that shepherds should speak beautiful words, never rock the boat, and choose only the doctrines with which the hearers agree. Or better yet, completely avoid doctrine and stick to topics that will surely draw a crowd. "How to be a winner in a losing world." "How to overcome your low self-esteem." "How to be popular and still please God." "How to romance your spouse." "How to have perfect children."

A SHEPHERD'S  MESSAGE
IS SOMETIMES SO NASTY - In his last warning to the church - specifically to the young pastor Timothy, but through him to us - Paul suggests that sound doctrine can be unpleasant to the ears. The truth of God preached by a faithful disciple of the Lord Jesus does many things ...

"It rebukes our egocentrism.
"It holds us to a higher standard."
"It's like surgery or medicine, because in the short term it can be painful, but the result is health.

That is why only courageous leaders should be chosen by the churches. They understand these things and are willing to pay the price. Others are not. Do you know when you say something in confidence and the preacher goes and reveals to everyone what was said in secrecy? Horrible, right! There is a difference between what one should treated in the pulpit and what one should suffer in secrecy. Dr. Jorge M. Johnson, PhD in Homiletics, taught in the classroom:

Knowing firsthand failures in the financial, professional, and family hopes of your sheep. Knowing the pains and afflictions of those entrusted to you is the factors that will help you know how to preach. This will help you choose the right texts and the right emphases in explaining these texts. It is rather too,  make a public treatment of what you have been told in private. NEVER mentioning names and giving no indication of who it is, but treating from the altar of the pulpit that wound that seems to have no cure. This is what makes preaching a ministry, not simply an exercise.

No one likes to listen to their particularities spoken of in the pulpit ... It is not to tell the story of others, nor to give examples, but to apply the measure of the Bible to the specific wound ... TO TREAT does not mean to speak or expose, or to wash dirty laundry in public ... It's not reporting someone's actions. TO TREAT means to biblically diagnose a disease. It is to apply remedy and recommendations coming from diligent studies and honoring the Word of God. It is to be the innkeeper on the road to Jericho.

"Master," the disciples said, "are you aware that the Pharisees were offended by what you said?" (Matthew 15) "Leave them alone," said the Lord.

BOLD LEADERS
WANTED - Needless to say, pastors and other ministers must be men of courage. But in the same way, lay leaders, elders, deacons must be people of strength and steadfastness.

-These leaders will encourage the pastor to preach the truth, even if it hurts.

"These leaders will support the pastor when he preaches the truth without a veneer and is receiving criticism. They should remind God's people that "no correction for the present time seems pleasing ... but then produces the peaceful fruit of righteousness" (Hebrews 12: 11).

-These leaders will tell members of the congregation that they are causing conflict over what the pastor is preaching. If the man of God is telling the truth and being faithful, the lay leadership must have the courage to be with him.

"These leaders will even allow some unhappy members of the church to leave when they can not get what they want." They will not blame the pastor for driving them away. Anyone who does a quick reading of the Gospels will see our Lord let people leave him because they could not accept his truth. And he did not blame himself or question the message he was preaching.

The Lord God has given me great honor in allowing me to speak to the lives of my congregation in Japan in the last four years. I am grateful for the privilege I have of serving Jesus Christ with them. I am praying that we may have great days ahead as we march in difficult times.

Accept these words, which I shared with my heart as I prepare the flock to meet the GOOD SHEPHERD, Jesus Christ the Lord. Pray for your leaders, my friend. And stand by them, especially when they are criticized. If they are faithful then be faithful too.

HOW TO WIN ARGUMENTS AND FIND MARKS OF CHRISTIAN MATURITY

Some boys of different ages played in the playground of one of the super blocks on the southern wing of Brasilia and began to disagree about something. I was not there, so the details may be out by one word or another. Anyway, the disagreement quickly turned into a discussion, and then into a mouthy cussing worthy of 7 to 10 years old boys. One of the boys, (now one of the most mature men I know), still under five, shouted a final argument that would (in his line of thought) put an end to all that mess. His bravado would surely give his group the laurels of victory: "I dare you to say Gertrude!" He said with great difficulty in uttering such a curse.

His line of thought - There was a TV ad for a furniture store at the time, when a crazy eddy type salesman advertised prices and the savings and discounts, in the end, he would say, "I dare you to say Gertrude!" which was the name of the store. It didn’t make the slightest sense, but it was funny. At my cousin's house, while Téquinho was not yet Tecone and was still learning to say big words, "Gertrude" was especially difficult for him, and the challenge he overcame by being able to pronounce correctly fit as well as any insult. Then he went on and challenged his enemies with a harsh sentence.

Lately, I've been writing a lot about spiritual growth and maturity. As we grow, we must biblically learn how to mature in our faith and holiness. However, as we learn from sources other than Scriptures, we end up learning whatever and from whoever it is, like the little boy who learned and formulated his insults and arguments from a TV commercial.

Our path to maturity is not a linear or chronological path. Often we are just adults who have forgotten to grow up. Often we are powerless and cannot find a role to play in the kingdom of God. Our missile-like insults and dares become as ineffective as the little boy on the playground. God tells us that we can take steps forward to become more mature and ready in His ways to experience the greatness of His power.

The Bible clearly distinguishes between those who are spiritually mature and immature. The Bible is full of examples of the immaturity of believers who have come to Christ. Paul and the other Apostles wrote letters that together with the Old Testament and the Gospels make up the whole of our doctrine and addressed some great failures, difficulties, and struggles. Their examples will guide true believers in growth. Starting from being little boys who fight their battles in the playground to make men and women who fight in spirit and truth.

1. OBEDIENCE - The only way we can win arguments and find the marks of Christian maturity and also become examples to be followed begins with obedience to the word of God.

As when Paul wrote to the Corinthians saying, "Do we begin again to praise ourselves? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation for you, or of recommendation from you? You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men. For it is already manifest that you are the letter of Christ, ministered by us, and written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tables of stone, but on the tables of the flesh of the heart. (2 Corinthians 3: 1-3)

Paul goes so far as to say, "But if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel besides the one we preach to you, be under the curse of God!" (Galatians 1: 8)

Paul is literally saying that even if he strays from the pure message about Christ and His teaching, stop listening to Him! Clearly, he wanted to convey the Message of Christ in all its purity, because that is where the power is.

We see this with denominations that are moving away from the central aspects of the gospel - for example, those who say that it is okay to live in sin and not repent. Your followers implode within just a few years, because when you take the core of the message away, you take away the power of the Holy Spirit to change hearts and lives, and there's nothing left to stay around.

Paul tells us to establish those fundamental teachings about Christ, and to continue there to grow to maturity and the author of Hebrews, the author says: "Therefore, let us move beyond the elemental teachings about Christ and be brought to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance of acts that lead to death and faith in God, instruction in rites of purification, laying on of hands, resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. "(Hebrews 6: 3)

2. SELFCRITICISM - Stop pointing at other people and take a look at yourself! Little boys will always point to the failures of all others, and they will never see their own mistakes. Sometimes we blame others for our lack of arguments. "I bet you can not do this or that!" Or "I did it because you (or he/she, or they) acted like that!" The path to maturity begins when you realize your own shortcomings compared to the perfection of Jesus.

Do not judge so you are to not be judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged, and with what measure you measure you will be measured to you. And why sees thou the mote that is in your brother's eye, and sees not the beam that is in your eye? Or as you shalt say unto your brother, let me take the mote out of your eye, when there is a beam in your own? You hypocrite, first take the beam out of your eye, and then take care to take the mote out of thy brother's eye. (Matthew 7: 1-5)

A mature Christian comes to a point where he finally sees his own sins and continually focuses on repenting in his own life, and stops trying to be the watchdogs of the world. They understand the weakness of their own flesh.

There are times to challenge others, to speak truth to others and to the world, but those moments must be much fewer and more distant from each other as we focus on our own hearts above all else.

Mature Christians are much more gracious judges of others because these words of Jesus have reached their hearts and will never be the same.

3. SELFCONTROL - You are not the watchdog of the world! Immature Christians cannot fail to speak their opinions on everything and everyone around them that follows the wrong paths. They think they are the spiritual police of the world.

James, teaching the church how to be mature, said, "For we all stumble in many things: if any man stumble in word, he is perfect, and mighty also to restrain the whole body" (James 3: 2)

This verse is so refreshing - first, because James calls it as it is - we all make more mistakes than we want to admit. Second, spiritual maturity comes from being more careful with the words we say.

Ephesians 4:29 4: 2-3 takes us a step further: "Let not a word of stubbornness come out of your mouth, but only that which is good for building up, that it may give grace to them that hear it." humility and meekness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, seeking to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. "

Stubbornness means dishonest, shameful. It is related as motive for various things, like crimes, homicides, suicides, and so on. Awkward is something disgusting, indecent, infamous and impudent. A stubborn crime is one that contains cruelty, usually very violent homicides and / or aggression. There are also crimes for futile reasons, which is that motivated by nonsense and vain motives. Awkward is also related to the speech of some people, with the words one uses. Awkward words are those whose meaning is dirty, obscene, and not used by people of the educated, decent, or moral character.

If you want to mature in your faith in Christ, dwell in these verses. Run everything else you do in your Christian life through them. Walking with humility, kindness and patience for others. Keep careful guard over your mouth and your sayings.

4. DEPENDENCE - One of the most important steps of the Christian walk is the total dependence of Christ. Dependence on Christ not only acknowledge that he has paid the price of his salvation but understand the reason why he chose you, which is for the fellowship in the communion of believers. There is no way to say that you love the Lord if you cannot love his bride, the church.

Mature Christians do not do much of themselves and their good works and progress. They make a lot out of being like Jesus. They believe in Jesus when he says:

1 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. 12 "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15: 1-15)

Even as mature Christians are growing in faith and holiness, they do not become more independent of Christ or of their brethren in Christ, nor of themselves, because they know that their growth comes through standing in Christ - depending in Christ alone - and obedience to His command to love God and love others. Mature Christians do not take credit for themselves; they humbly follow Jesus into the fellowship of Christ's flock.

5. FAITHFULNESS - As I said at the beginning of this article, I wasn’t there on the playground. I don’t know if my cousin's playmates laughed at him or not. But if they laughed, they were reprehensible in my notebook. One of the marks of maturity, and one of the steps to achieving this maturity is the faithfulness that we demonstrate to God and our neighbors. The “gospel kids” like to expose their brothers, and point out the mistakes of whom we should show even more love. Faithfulness to Christ will automatically produce fidelity to one's neighbor, which is called long-suffering. (See also Genesis 9.18-10.32)

The good news is, "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Put away your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts with double mind. "The next step to God is what James says:" I have felt your miseries, and I mourn and weep; let your laughter be converted into mourning, and your joy into sorrow. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. "And the secret of success is," Brethren, speak ye not one of the brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother, and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law, and judges the law; and if you judge the law, you are no longer an observer of the law but a judge. (James 4: 8-11)
As we approach God, we experience His goodness, grace, and glory in our lives in new ways.

The apostle Peter tells us:

5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. 10 Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. 11 For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1: 5-11

The marks of a mature believer, is not the challenge of who is greater, if one can say "Gertrude", or "Hypostatic Union", or "Predestination", or "sola this and sola that" - The study of theology is very important and vital for knowledge. They are terms and definitions that must be known, but they do not define us if we do not generate the marks of Christ in our hearts. I’m SOLA SORRY - Such things that are common in the "kinder gardens of life" or in the playgrounds of big boys who never grew up. They are just marks imprinted by Satan in our midst to confuse us and impede our growth.

The real marks of a mature Christian are: faith, goodness, God's knowledge of His Word, self-control, perseverance through difficulties, piety (imitation of Christ), mutual affection for other believers and for the Church (mature or immature Christians and non-Christians also). Doing our best to love people according to 1 Corinthians 13.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God, to destroy strongholds. "(2 Corinthians 10: 3-4) The mature believer does not aim to detonate people, it is not a street fight; planned according to the way the world fights, earthly strategies are not our concern, our weapons are not physical, because our war is spiritual in nature, instead of weapons and tanks, our weapons are those of "armor of God, "which consist of" the truth and clothed you with the breastplate of righteousness. Shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; always embracing the shield of faith, with which you can erase all the fiery darts of the Evil One. Take also the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God "(Ephesians 6: 14-17).

Mature Christians do not remain idle in their faith, pointing out the shortcomings of others. Mature Christians will trust and obey the Lord, making every effort to enjoy the fellowship of believers, knowing that there are Christian babies and Christian boys, and we all seek the maturity of our Lord as we walk in him. And to finish: I dare you to say GERTRUDE!