I am (want to be) your true friend

"People claim that we live in a world of irreconcilable differences, that lasting peace can not be achieved because there is no way to change the human heart." - Steve Saint

Recognition - How can we find true friendship in this often false and temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another person's personality. Friends generally share likes and dislikes, interests, activities and passion.

How can we recognize a potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for fellowship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. In addition, genuine friendship involves a common sense of caring and concern, a desire and hope to see each other grow, develop, and succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for another person without expecting anything in return; share thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

The story of the pilot in the jungle was retold in the End of the Spear, a film that begins with an intimate and guttural narration about an idyllic aerial scene of an Amazon rainforest. "People claim that we live in a world of irreconcilable differences, that lasting peace can not be achieved because there is no way to change the human heart." But the story of this movie, a trip down a remote river, "Challenges what many people they say. "This introduces Steve Saint, our guide, through the surreal and sincere world of missionary imagination. We traveled with Steve to the Ecuadorian rainforest of 1943.

A hollow "Waodani" hut is attacked and its villagers murdered by ruthless enemy warriors at night. One of which kills a baby. We followed two child protagonists, a boy named Mincayani and a little girl, Dayumae, as they fled.

The next narrator, Steve Saint, takes us back to his own childhood in 1956, strangely staged to resemble the overly quiet domestic images of a 1950s sitcom full of Roy Rogers cowboy hats, airplane models, a mother wearing an apron and a Lassie as a dog. We met his enthusiastic and bright-eyed father, Nate Saint (Chad Allen) and four American companions (the bizarre energy of his unimaginative portraits was one of the few things that seemed true in this missionary coherent missionary). It is twenty minutes before they tell us that they are missionaries, "closer than the family of blood," and who plan to contact the Waodani for vague and partially articulated reasons (are they hoping to save them from intertribal extinction?) "They are concerned about the government troops, or with their own violent nature? Or are they trying to free them from a Satanic "prison"?)

The score, ranging from drum beats and "tribal" chants, where the Waodani seem like angelic choral arrangements and pastoral chord progressions to the missionaries, leave no doubt as to when we should feel when and what. At first, the blatant emotion of music is appreciated as a much-needed aid to follow the inflexibly dramatic mechanical script that assumes its power. It's a friendship story. When Nate Saint says, "Son, the Waodani are not ready for heaven. We are, "we know we should simply believe. That's when the brilliant idea of an effect phrase enters the boy's mind. He then seeks his aunt's help and translates into Wao, the best catch phrase  in the world: "I am your true friend."

True Friendship - Relationship, Trust, Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. These mutual attributes that we have mentioned above become the basis on which recognition appears in the relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," but they never spend time with this "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, to build shared memories, to invest in each other's growth.

A friend of mine, half Barnabas and half Timothy, came to seek his own interests and broke the bonds that seemed to bind us together. After some time another very dear and dear friend did the same. This has happened again and again; time after time, during my entire lifetime. What's wrong? As I look into the recent and distant past as well, I have become attached to the hard tears that roll because of the friends that come and go. Do I value my friends more than the Lord of friends?

One of these days I received a "friend request" through a social network. I confirmed the request and noticed the following message that said: "You are friends now". This caught my attention and intrigued me, wondering if friendship would be something so quick and immediately ready to be achieved. After all, I have learned that a friend is a treasure (Ecclesiastes 6.14) and that precisely because it is so, it is a rare thing, which takes time to know and to conquer.

This idea that friendship takes time to be born already appears among the ancient philosophers, both the Greeks and the Romans. For example, Aristotle states in his Nicomachean Ethics that "we can not know the people until they have 'consumed the proverbial salt.'" This same principle is also present in the work of Friendship, by the Roman philosopher and philosopher Marco Túlio Cicero: "It is necessary to eat much salt manners with someone so that the friendship is fully consolidated."

"Captain" Virgulino Ferreira da Silva, better known as Lampião (more archaic spelling 'Lampeão'), was the most famous bandit leader of the Cangaço. The Cangaço was a form of banditry endemic to the Brazilian Northeast. was particularly prevalent in the 1920s and 1930s). Lampião led a group of up to 100 cangaçeiros, who occasionally took small towns and waged a series of successful actions against the paramilitary police, when at a great disadvantage.

Lampião's exploits and reputation made him a 'popular hero'. Then the story goes that once when Captain Lampião met a so called Colonel (farm owners/homesteaders) with the intention of invading his farm, the farmer said, scared of the cangaceiros and without realizing that he was speaking with the captain himself, he said that he was a friend of the king of cangaço.

Virgulino Ferreira was influenced by the honor he brought to be known as someone's friend and yet he was annoyed by the fibbing of the colonel. Then he made the following judgment and uttered the sentence: "O xente (hick expression typical of the Northeast of Brazil), I am flattered with so much friendship with you, though I have never seen it. And to be friends with someone, it is said that it is necessary to eat a pot of salt with your friend. And since I've just met you, my sentence will be that you eat your half of the salt right now. "To make the short tale even shorter, he forced the man to eat the entire pot of salt until he passed away, tragically leaving quite pleasant the narrative of a short story with its strange moral applications to be told for many decades to come.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failure to be trusted with these intimate secrets can destroy a friendship. Faithfulness and loyalty are fundamental to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship there is no slander, no negative thoughts, no withdrawal.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. True friends encourage and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports in times of struggle. Friends are trustworthy. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and always want the best for them.

True friendship - examples of real friendship - true stories of friendship are found throughout the Bible. In Genesis 18. 17-33, we read about God sharing his intentions with Abraham. Abraham responds by telling God his thoughts and feelings about the situation. God and Abraham are able to do this because they trust and respect each other.

First Samuel 20 focuses on the friendship of David and Jonathan. These two men really cared for each other and had great confidence in each other. David was running after Jonathan's father, Saul, who pursued him. Jonathan recognized that David was innocent. Because of the true friendship they shared, David survived Saul's assassination attempts and became one of Israel's greatest kings.

True and Biblical friendship involves freedom of choice, responsibility, truth, and forgiveness. Peter and Jesus give us this example: Peter, fearful of his life after Jesus is taken away from the Garden of Gethsemane, denies knowing him (John 18). When taken by his accusers, Jesus takes a look at Peter who says, "I knew that you would deny me, and I forgive you" (John 21).

True friendship looks to the heart of the Lord, not just to the "packing of the friend." Genuine friendship loves for love, not just for what it can receive in return. True friendship is challenging and exciting. He risks, ignores failures and loves unconditionally, but it also involves being sincere, even if it hurts. Genuine friendship, also called "agape" love, comes from the Lord. The Lord Jesus calls us to his friends and gave his life for us (John 15).

Real-life relationships involve different levels of friendship and that's fine. But humans are designed by God for enduring relationships. Often our isolationist society offers only vague and empty relationships. God wants us to have friends here on earth. Above all, he wants us to be his friends!

The Word of God tells us that a friend is closer than a brother and that to be a friend, one should befriend (Proverbs 18.24). The question is, what kind of friend do you want to be?

Proverbs 18.19 says, "It is more difficult to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a locked gate with iron bars." When we offend a true friend - be it by breaking a trust or speaking the truth with love - we risk losing that friendship. We must be careful not to break trust. But when we do not speak the truth will do more harm in the lives of our friends, we must be willing to sacrifice our needs for those of our friend. This is true friendship.

If we sometimes offend a friend unintentionally, the Word of God offers a solution. This is called forgiveness. There is no greater example than God's love for us. He is so great that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, that our friendship with God might be restored. He did this despite the fact that he had been deeply offended, cosmically. We disobey his commandments, turn our backs to him, and go our own way. So the question remains: what kind of friend do you want to be? True Christian friendship forgives.

In The End of the Spear, friendship was found in forgiveness, but before that, friendship was found by those who gave their lives so the other could live. In the statement "they are not ready for heaven" Nate Saint drew the line we must follow to be a true friend, in whatever language one can speak. A sad news for me is to realize that, like the Colonel in the salt-pot tale, I can sometimes seem more like a friend than I was.

You see, in my reverse state of mind, without Jesus and against God, I could only claim to be a good friend of the King of Kings. However, in redemption, when my friendship is neither based nor valued in me or in my feelings or in my heart that is very misleading but has its own weight in Jesus, I will look even for those who can try me kill or harm me in any way, and only see the image of Jesus who died for them. So I will not use weapons against those who are not ready to experience the joy that is yet to come.

Do you need a friend? God wants to be your true friend. Are you yearning for company? God is always with you (Hebrews 13. 5). Who do you know who needs a true friend today? God wants you to be friends with others. He calls us to be his hands and feet in a world hungry for true friendship.

Convinced only, not converted

Tuesday is dead - If you grew up in the sixties, seventies and even eighties, you'll remember the name, Cat Stevens. An English folk rocker whose work was immensely popular on all sides of the Atlantic, Stevens had a string of hits, toured the world and became filthy rich. He had the Rolls Royce and the trophy girlfriend and the best drugs the money could buy.

One day, at the height of his career, Stevens simply disappeared. He just stopped making records and disappeared from view for about twenty years. There were rumors that he was dead or fallen with some horrible and debilitating disease. The truth is that in those years when he was producing his successes and earning millions, he was quietly and sporadically going through a spiritual crisis. He began to ask the big questions: why am I here? Is there a God? Where am I going to spend eternity?

Stevens was born into a Christian family. Then, when his unwanted search for truth began, he naturally turned first to Christianity for answers. And here the story goes terribly wrong: no one took him seriously. His parents were absent churchgoers: they had nothing for him. They thought their famous son was suffering from a bit of post-teen angst. His relatives, many of whom were also nominally Christian, had no answers. The local Anglican community had no answers. Even Stevens's local pastor had nothing significant to offer. Wherever he turned, all he had was some variation on- "" Well, you know, we all worry about these things from time to time. Just be quiet and know that God loves you. Imagine: here is this young man - there is a window of opportunity in his life - who wants to have a serious talk about God and eternity. He is genuinely distressed; He is wounded in spirit and his Church gives him clichés. He needed the Gospel; he gets "I'm ok, you're ok".

His music reflected a yearning and a search for piety. Author of one of the most beautiful hymns ever written, Morning Has Broken and other songs like The Peace train, and oh, The Wind ...

I listen the wind, in the wind of my soul
Where I’ll end up, well, I think only God really knows
I sat upon the setting sun
But never, never, never, never
I never wanted water once
Never never never
I listen my words, but they fall far below
I let my music take me where my heart wants to go
I swam upon the devil's lake.
But never, never, never, never
I'll never make the same mistake
Never never never

And then someone gave Stevens a copy of the Qur'an. And he read and was instantly filled with questions. Being a resourceful young man, he got on a plane, flew to Jerusalem, went to a mosque and asked for help. He was well received and treated with kindness. The Imams helped him. They had answers. And just as on a Monday morning he was convinced, on the afternoon of his Tuesday, his faith was already dead. Tuesday is Dead 

By our lights in the gospel, these answers were and remain lies and heresies - that is what Islam is: a defective and corrupt creed of a false and perverse prophet. But to the mind of a vulnerable young man, the answers seemed to make sense. He wanted to know how to live in this sometimes terrible and confusing world - they told him. Later he said, "I was shown how to live." He was convinced, and not converted.

Feel so different - On the outskirts of Philadelphia, a younger version of me was delighted with such a beautiful voice. A face that brought feelings and tears from the toughest bullies in school. At Esther's sweet sixteen party, I remember dancing with... (well, never mind). But the music ... The voice ... The story of Sinead O'Connor sung in Nothing Compares 2 U. Irish singer and activist converted to Islam. The 51-year-old artist responsible for hits Nothing Compares to You and The Emperor's New Clothes announced her embrace of the Muslim faith in her social media channels, as well as changing her name to Shuhaida. A video of her saying that the Shahabad - the Islamic faith statement - was also posted on twitter by Irish imam Ir Umar al-Qadri.

Her new name, Shuhaida, derives from the Arabic word of the Qur'an "Shahid", which in false sacred scripture is used generically to mean "witness" and in certain passages to describe a "martyr".

As for her conversion to Islam, O'Connor - who was politely ordained a priest in the late 1990s by the Catholic and Orthodox Church of Ireland (an independent Catholic group that is not in communion with the Vatican) - said that this marked a " natural conclusion of the journey of any intelligent theologian. "

Sadaqat "Shuhada" @ MagdaDavitt77

This is to announce that I am proud to have become a Muslim. This is the natural conclusion of any intelligent theologian's journey. Every study of the scriptures leads to Islam. Which makes all other scriptures redundant. I will be given (another) new name. It will be Shuhada

14.3K2h42 - 20th October 2018

Information and privacy of Twitter ads8,
764 people are talking about it – 
information and privacy of Twitter ads

Songs of Faith - Faith and spirituality abounded in O'Connor's three-decade work, with the singer drawing on various spiritual texts, including the Bible. I was so impressed when my brother showed me her new stuff.

Her lyrics were often written from a seeker's point of view, either out of love, salvation, and acceptance.

O'Connor was more direct on her 2007 acoustic album Theology, a collection of songs inspired by the Old Testament Psalms. If You Had a Vineyard is based on passages from Isaiah and Jeremiah, while Whomsoever Dwells contains the letters of her then favorite, Psalm 91.

She said in an interview with Cross Rhythms.

“Whatever I say about religion I really love religion, "" I'm very inspired by love in different religions and so if I criticize it, it's not to the point of not liking it - you know what I mean? But I think sometimes the nature of God's character can be portrayed inaccurately in a way that can be difficult for many people.”

O'Connor's quest for inner peace, which she spoke about in her work and escaped most of her troubled life, began to bear fruit on her latest album, I'm Not Bossy.

Another embrace and abandonment of the love of God. Sinead was convinced but not converted. Her pseudo liberation was not the conviction of sin and justice and judgment, but a form of material and psychological atonement for the many atrocities and abuses that took place against her. She felt different only, but not succumbing to the true repentance of sin, she was not converted to the kingdom of the son of God's love. Feel so Different 

This is a sad tale. For Stevens, a Christian community failed when a young man came in search of truth. So did O'Connor. Really?

First Peter tells us, "Be ever ready to give an answer to every man who asks a reason for the hope that is in you." That did not happen in those cases. There was a failure at the neighborhood and family level in that Christian community, forty years ago in East London, when a young man came in search of salvation. There was a flaw in the worldwide Christian community that paid no attention to the depressed singer's cry and begging for help between various attempts against her own life. Well, they'll just snap out of it! We can argue. And there is the fact that no one seems to be able to articulate the truth to them. That would be bad enough in itself - losing some souls to Islam is a terrible thing - but we have to wonder what the domino effect of this failure is.

How many young men and women of that generation followed Stevens and O'connor in the darkness of Islam? How many followed in later years? It would be surprising if the answer were "none". Stevens is called Yusuf Islam these days. He is the most famous convert of Islam. He is the poster boy for Islam as a religion of peace. No IEDs, no AK-47s, just an acoustic guitar and peace and love. He is tremendously popular and influential in the Muslim community and beyond, particularly in Britain, but also across Europe. The FBI puts you on an air exclusion list. I suppose it is not without reason. Shuhaida is still reclusive and unavailable, so it does not make that much difference.

But Islam is not the only lie people will believe. It is a much more subtle and profound resentment toward God called sin. Who says, "I know him," but does not do what he says is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. (1 John 2.4) One can be persuaded of anything he hears, but if he does not convert, confess, and repent, the truth is not in that person. I am convinced, however, that the methodology of confronting sin and loving people is the conversion necessary for each to exercise and medicate oneself.

If we are not ready to answer for our faith, we fail not only to the questioner (that is, the unbeliever who might have believed) but also, potentially, fail to all whose life is subsequently touched by them. The consequences of this are incalculable; many variables, lots of math.

Only God knows the whole story of who our friends will become. There could be students sitting in today's classes that people will one day follow. Strange things happened. The answers we give to friends - or not - here in our time together will become a small part of some future reality. And remember, some of us who actively preach the gospel of Christ - the answers we give believers in our care may be the ones that make them survive. We should always be here praying and leaning intensely on the Holy Spirit, experience and personal witness for when these Great Questions come our way.

The Kite Runner - The # 1 New York Times best-selling novel debut that introduced Khaled Hosseini to millions of readers worldwide.

The unforgettable and painful story of the unlikely friendship between a rich boy and his father's servant son, trapped in the tragedy of history, The Kite Runner transports readers to Afghanistan at a tense and crucial time of change and destruction. A powerful story of friendship is also about the power of reading, the price of betrayal and the possibility of redemption; and an exploration of the power of parents over their children-their love, their sacrifices, their lies.

Spoiler alert! - There is a part in the story, in which the servant's son is raped by a bunch of older city bullies. And the master's son, the narrator, is cowardly convinced that he could not have done anything about it. He pretends not to know. And internally, he begins to develop a bitter resentment toward his best friend. Resentment turned to hatred, and he lied to the boy, accusing him of stealing his father's watch, being dismissed by the alleged robbery of his son. The story goes on to show the effects of a childhood, a childish attitude of resentment and questioning, a sinful act and its consequences for life, to the end, when the main character decides to correct the mistakes again by trying to heroically endorse and neutralize his sin.

Since its publication in 2003, Kite Runner has become a beloved and unique classic of contemporary literature, touching millions of readers and launching the career of one of America's most valuable writers.

That's the way things are. People can be convinced of something. And though they are convinced and not yet converted, they will make promises, and in search of peace of mind, freedom, or atonement, they may face their sinful nature and truly surrender to the grace and love of God, or they will go from branch to branch , ideas for ideals, friends for friends. They will embrace friends and ideas and as easily as they were convinced, if there is no conversion, they will turn their backs on friends and church and faithfulness to God. In the end, broken promises and a consolation bravado of "But I still have not found what I'm looking for ..." ( another song that shook my world). He goes on to say evil things and make up lies about those who have helped him most. People who, for the love of God were blessings to those who abandoned him today. Sad for who it is, Terrible for those who go! The end; spiritual death.

In Proverbs 26 we find it disgusting and disconcerting to read verse 11 when it says, "When a dog returns to its vomit, fools repeat their folly"

What abomination is sin, and how it is sometimes odious to make it appear, even to the sinner himself. When his conscience is convinced, or he feels good about his sin, he is tired of it and vomits; he seems then to dislike it and to be willing to discard it. It is in itself, and in the first or last place, it will be to the sinner, more disgusting than the vomit of a dog. Sl 36.2.

How ready sinners are in a relapse. Like the dog, after it has gained relief by vomiting what has burdened its stomach, it still licks again, so the sinners, who were convinced only and not converted, return to sin again, forgetting how sick it has made them. The apostle (2 Pet 2:22) applies this proverb to those who have known the way of righteousness, but have turned away from it; but God shall drive them out of his mouth, Revelation 3:16.

So a fool goes back to his madness. Although he knows that this is madness and ruin for him: but vice has become second nature, and he cannot escape it even if he wants to. This is especially true for those who gave way to drunkenness or the impurity of life. The fool never frees himself from the bonds of his foolishness; his deeds and words always carry the same character to the end. The same truth holds true for the sinner, especially the drunkard and the sensualist. But still true for those who give themselves to idolatry for hours in falsehood of legalistic prayers, and pretense of much love and relationships based on themselves. If they feel temporary remorse and reject their sin by partial repentance, they are not totally shaken; it has become second nature, and they soon return to it.

If you can overcome the intolerance of "people nowadays" to which we are all prone, this new generation has some real possibilities. They seem totally determined to keep things positive. Good for them. They are not traumatized by change - they actually like it. They are not afraid of technology. They are materialists, but no more than we are, and their materialism tends to center mainly around the acquisition of new technologies. There are, of course, dangers in technology - it can be a little fascinating and some of its doors lead to obscure places, but let's be honest, those doors have always been there; they just needed more effort to open in the past.

These children do not like confrontation. They avoid it - sometimes even when it is inevitable in good conscience for a young man or woman of faith. They may be a little too open to commit. We have to help them with this. We have to teach them; you cannot make deals with the Scriptures. You cannot give prerogatives to God - they are not ours to give. And in the end, they will do to you, as Peter did with Jesus.

These people are also a bit narcissistic. They like to take pictures of themselves shopping and eating sandwiches. Such eccentricities aside, we can reasonably have high hopes for them. We have to fear for them too. They lack wisdom, especially the younger ones. They need guidance. We should provide this when and where we can. We should look for opportunities to guide them. We should make opportunities to guide them. But the maximum that anyone on earth can do is convince ... Face it ... Maintain relationships - "in the real" ... However, only the holy spirit will convert the hearts of the lost.

They live in a world that is more wicked in several orders of magnitude than what we knew as young people - and it will get worse before it gets better. The least we could do is be ready to answer their questions about how we got here and where we're going. These big perennial questions: Why am I here? Is there a God? Where am I going to spend eternity?

Stevens and O'Connor were already convinced of something. Like them, many people who came and went out of my life were convinced and convincing. I had such close friends and they were not faithful. I'm looking for the friends I left. The years have passed, and when we will finally leave our defenses, we will be friends in Christ again.

HOW TO CRITICIZE AND ACCEPT CRITICISM - (CHECK YOUR OWN AND BE GODLY WHILE POINTING OUT OTHER PEOPLE’S HALITOSIS.)

Have you ever noticed that when a friend or someone close to you has bad breath and you try to offer him a mint or some candy, they never accept it? I think this is because we are never very self conscious or want to avoid an embarrassing situation.

We all go through things like the uncomfortable feeling that our breath is not so fresh. Millions of dollars are spent by many people each year on mouthwash, mints, and other devices to protect colleagues, friends, and family from an offensive breath of a jaguar (as it is said in Brazil).

Keeping the breath fresh, however, does not always depend on a trip to the personal care sector of the local store. It may require radical treatment, even a surgical intervention! Whatever the cause of halitosis, the first step is to be prepared to discover your problem before it becomes a problem for another person. As disturbing as it may be, a friendly warning should be well accepted, coming or going.

This is also true of giving and receiving criticism. Recently a great friend noted that the worst defect in someone is one that the person himself does not perceive. Andre is right. My answer was that the solution would be to develop friendships that would enable friends to inform us about our faults and, us, theirs. Always the truth in love.

When I first arrived in Japan, someone from my congregation pointed out several flaws in both my preaching and myself. The funny thing was that the man had the worst breath in the parish! Instead of retaliating or trying to defend myself as I would in the flesh, I submitted to the Word. I looked at the old Japanese man and said, "If what you say is true, would you mind praying for me?"

Before we are harsh in judging our modern scribes and Pharisees, let us pause and look at our own legalism. Many of us Christians today go to church to find fault, gossip and critique. Warren Wiersbe, in his book Angry People, wrote:

An incident in the life of Joseph Parker, the great British preacher, illustrates this tragic truth. He was preaching at the Temple of the City in London. After the service, one of the listeners approached him and said: Dr. Parker, you made a grammatical error in your sermon. He then proceeded to point the error to the pastor, Joseph Parker looked at the man and said, "And what else did you get out of the message?" What an appropriate rebuke!

Last year while traveling abroad, I preached to a different cultural audience from mine, and I learned something new. I thought I was doing very well, but I was alerted to something I was not seeing. At the end of a Sunday morning service, a gentleman came to me, and said, "Reverend, I really enjoyed seeing your excitement and your Bible knowledge is really remarkable!" With that said, he handed me his business card with a note on the back: "You will lose the attention of the locals if you continue to shout and change your voice during preaching!" I was so angry! He burst my bubble! There I was, thinking I had rocked, and someone's telling me I'm wrong! (Oh Boy!) So I turned the card to see who he was, and on the other side was his name, the logo of a famous multinational company, and his position as Communication Specialist. Then I stopped and thought: this guy knows the subject; he applied the PPM on me! Something I had studied many years before, also long forgotten. PPM (Plus-Plus-Minus) is a technique for discussing or criticizing ideas. The basic rule: You must declare two positive points before declaring a negative point. This counteracts negativity, forcing the listener to focus first on the positive side of an idea. This practice is used in group dynamics. PPM encourages timid people to come up with ideas without fear of a barrage of criticism.

One of the rarest of management skills, and the most difficult to learn, is how to criticize constructively. Constructive criticism shows consideration for other people's feelings, invites suggestions, and attracts cooperation. When one can not find out how to criticize something constructively, the wiser thing to do is to keep one's mouth shut until one formulates a thought that exalts and edifies the criticized. Here's how Paul began the letter to Philemon: "All the good things that are in you, in Christ Jesus."

The criticism that begins by attacking and putting people in the position of having to defend themselves often transforms small problems into major offenses. Usually, the best way to start is with simple, friendly questions, questions that will give people the opportunity to explain their position without being offended and unaffected. Then, after listening carefully, suggest the changes you would like them to make; whatever they may be; and see what they think.

Do not require an immediate decision if it is not necessary, or if there is still substantial disagreement. Ask them to think about it. Tell them that you will also think about it. Later, if you still believe in the changes you want to make, join them again. Explain that you have thought carefully and still believe the idea is worth trying. Tell them that you have an obligation to give them a fair shot, and you are counting on them to do the same.

Another important point; when we have to criticize or question someone's actions or ideas, let's always look at his or her face. Discussing affectionately with the person involved produces bonds of tenderness. Talking openly to those we criticize is more honest and elegant than talking behind their back. Do not let him or her hear your secondhand criticism.

Do not write or say anything you do not subscribe to below. If you get a negative and anonymous rating, ignore it! If they are not willing to sign your name, it is not worth reading. Do not give importance to anonymity. Anonymity is immoral. A pastor received anonymous note with nothing but the word "FOOL!" written on it. The next morning he entered the church and said, "I've received many scraps without signatures before, but this is the first time I have one where someone forgot to write the note and only signed his name!"

For many of us, just hearing that someone said negative things about what we said or did can trigger acute emotional distress. It is as if the accusation, no matter what the merit, immediately penetrated our defenses, causing substantial damage to our self-esteem, that is, our vanity.

When we respond to criticism in a biblically correct way, we will no longer need to be victimized. We can experience firsthand one of the great promises God gives us in Scripture:

Every tool that is prepared against thee shall not prosper, and every tongue that shall rise up against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn; this is the inheritance of the servants of the Lord, and his righteousness which is from me, saith the Lord. (Isaiah 54.17)

Accepting criticism

Criticism is always difficult to accept, but if we receive it with humility and desire to develop our character, we can obtain the profit of piety. How not to accept the peppermint balloon? Only a fool does not profit when he is reprimanded for his mistakes.

When criticized, we should ask ourselves if the criticism contains any truth. If the answer is yes, we should learn from criticism, even if it does not have the right motivation and right spirit. Here are four suggestions:

(1) Listen to your friends - Face the matter immediately, and take it to God, asking him to remove all resentment or desire from criticizing. What's more, let him teach you the lessons you need.

(2) Check Your Breath - Remember that we are all great sinners and that the one who criticized us does not even know the beginning of our problems.

(3) Take the mint - If you have made a mistake or committed a sin, humiliate yourself and honestly confess to God and anyone you have hurt.

(4) Wash your mouth - Create a daily habit of willingness by learning again that you are not infallible and that you need the grace and wisdom of God every moment of the day to continue on the right path.

When we are criticized, let us accept what is true and act accordingly, making us stronger people.

Now as to him that is sick in the faith, receive him, not in strife with doubts. For one believes that one can eat everything, and another who is weak eats vegetables. He who eats does not despise what he does not eat; and he that eateth not, let him not judge what he eateth; because God received him for his sake. Who are you, who judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls. But he will be steadfast, for God is able to sign him. Romans 14. 1-4

When your critic's nose is completely wrong ...

Recently, a friend confided a "case." (And here I tell the world with the commitment to show the miracle but no, not the saint.) After a visit to the bathroom, when he bent to lift his pants, his tie and badge were accidentally dipped in the toilet before flushing, thus soiling his badge and tie without him noticing. Do not ask me how. As he continued through the day, he made several accusations about the breath or body odor of other people, only to then realize that the stench coming from himself. Sometimes people criticize and make comments as a way to deal with their own faults and shortcomings. Sometimes people comment and campaign for critical remarks, just out of sheer evil in their hearts.

The prophet Nehemiah was doing an effective job of rebuilding the destroyed walls of Jerusalem. His determined team was on schedule to complete the task in less time than expected. He had enthusiastic support from the vast majority of his people. However, Nehemiah was also the target of vicious criticism.

Two local residents, Sambalat and Tobiah, despised the Jews and mocked the wall. "Even a fox could knock him down," they said. When Nehemiah refused to intimidate or be distracted by this ridicule, Sambalat and Tobias expressed a dissatisfaction in his letter, and called for a meeting to discuss his objections.

Nehemiah's response was classic. He basically said, "I'm doing an important job and I do not have time to hear your complaints." This was not arrogant-it was clever. It was not irreverent - it was the wisest use of his time.

In my time as pastor, I had to learn to deal with criticism. In my younger years, any disagreement would bring me down. Friends and family spent considerable energy caring for my wounded ego. But eventually, experience and Scripture helped me deal with criticism more effectively.

Perhaps some younger Christian leaders can benefit from some of the lessons I've learned.

All effective leaders are criticized. If you are at the front line of the battle, you will probably be hit. It's that simple. We are involved in an intensified spiritual warfare and the enemy becomes increasingly malicious and stingy. One gets the impression that if the world only proves that Christians are false, they will feel justified in their unbelief.

If you dare to speak the truth of God or try to lead the people of God, you will be attacked and labeled as zealous, hypocritical, or foolish. Be safe! Hang on cowboy, for the bull is tough! Or as my brother would say, "Stiff upper lip, Danny, be British! Oswald Sanders, in his classic book Spiritual Leadership, suggests that maturity is moving from thin skin and hard heart to a soft heart and hard skin.

Consider the source. Is it a small, mean person who's complaining or someone you respect? If it comes from someone you have in high regard, evaluate carefully. Perhaps the Lord is using them to point out a blind spot in your life or work. However, if criticism comes from a Sambalat or Tobias of insignificant mind, then it is not worth the time and effort to answer it.

Evaluate the objection. If the review has any validity, receive it gracefully and make the necessary adjustment. If it does not, ignore it and move on.

If during a dream, you are going to the bathroom, wake up! That is a trap! It's the same trap, responding to petty criticism. The critic is too angry to hear reason. They just want to vent. It is a waste of time to respond to grossly false criticism, and generally gives more validity to objection than it deserves. And the one who gets dirty when you wake up is you!

Keep your focus on the ultimate goal. Do not murmur and grumble about critics. This takes your mind off your primary responsibility. Do not let Satan distract you from what needs to be done.

Our task is to please Christ, not men. His is the only opinion that matters. People are so fickle. The same people who criticize you today may be singing your praises tomorrow.

Find a way to get it out of your mind. If I can not get a criticism out of my mind and it is affecting my mood or distracting me, I write exactly what I would like to say without any concern to be kind.

However, I do not immediately send this communication unattended. I wait a day or two and never finish sending it in its original form - and rarely mailing it.

But, venting my feelings in a letter, I took them out of my head and entered the computer screen. So it's easier to forget and focus on the task at hand again.

Get bolder. The temptation is to become timid and completely avoid controversy. That's what the enemy wants! But Jesus warned: "Whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words shall be ashamed of the Son of man, when he shall come in his glory, and in that of the Father and of the holy angels" (Luke 9.26)

Do not let the intimidating tactics of the enemy intimidate you. Speak the truth in love, but speak the truth. King David exhorted, "Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he redeemed from the hand of the enemy" (Psalm 107. 2)

First-century Christians were threatened with prison and death if they continued to speak about the resurrected Jesus in public. They did not back down or become more cautious. They prayed: "Now therefore, O Lord, look upon their threats, and grant unto thy servants that they speak with all boldness thy word; While you stretch out your hand to heal, and to do signs and wonders for the name of your holy Son Jesus. And when he had prayed, the place where they were gathered was moved; and all were filled with the Holy Spirit, and boldly proclaimed the word of God "(Acts 4.29, 31).

Give thanks to God for the persecution. Jesus exhorted us when persecuted to "Blessed are ye, when they revile and persecute you, and tell you all the evil against you for my sake. Rejoice and rejoice, for great is your reward in heaven; for so persecuted the prophets which were before you. "(Matthew 5. 11-12) When we can praise God and be thankful for all the criticisms, we know that we are growing in spiritual maturity and following in the footsteps of prophets like Nehemiah.

When criticism comes in the form of accusations of something you've done in the past, remember something that my dad says when he gets criticized. "Both God and Satan reminded me of my past sins, your criticism, is the third time I hear about my mistakes, what side does your criticism come from?"

On a walk with a group of Boy Scouts, we learned to deal with the critiques in life, the misgivings of the stingy and the challenges of the great and mighty as we sang a marching song that said:

Coconut break, coconut break,
on the slope of the mountain,
Boy Scout,  you break your coconut,
and then go back to work.

Believe me if you will
what on top of that hill
has three meters of sausage,
running after a dog.

Coconut break, coconut break,
on the slope of the mountain,
Boy Scout, you break your coconut,
and then go back to work.

I went down the Sugar Loaf hill, 
seized on a string,
I risked my life,
but I saved the Scout Girl.

For you to talk to me,
Wash your mouth with coconut
For your mouth is smelling
something like a vulture's gut

Coconut break, coconut break,
on the slope of the mountain,
Boy Scout, you break your coconut,
and then go back to work.

Let them criticize, at first we break the coconut, but then, we go back to work.

DCG